


Consent

by 8hephaestion8



Series: What We Have [3]
Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Consensual Underage Sex, Family, Homophobia, M/M, Marriage breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-05-07 04:45:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19202152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8hephaestion8/pseuds/8hephaestion8
Summary: This is the start of the backstory, how Armie got to where he is.  The family has some issues which have impact on Armie.  Armie's father has a large role to play in his life. This part of the series is looking at different forms of consent.- Armand is his father, Armie is referred to as Armie Jnr. or Armie.- There is no underage sex in this chaper.This is Fiction.





	1. Chapter 1

The first was a woman in the office. Armand’s personal executive assistant was going on holiday, he needed cover, there was a meeting taking place in Chicago to discuss the Foundation’s support of theatre in the city.  Also taking place was a gala performance of The Rise and Fall of Little Voice, he needed someone to cover the admin and also to act basically as his go-fer.  What he wanted was someone capable and able to act as his walker, someone who would not appear out of place, who he could trust and he had someone specific in mind.

It would not be the first time he took away a junior assistant from the office, he was known to be a gentleman and did not take advantage of women full stop.  He was felt to be safe. He held open doors, acknowledged women’s contribution to the work of the team and promoted women into senior roles.  His wife hadn’t minded letting him go, he was trusted…but Armie Jnr was in fifth grade and things at home were beginning to go wrong.  Violet was a throwback to an earlier age, she believed in hard work, manners and status, things she worked endlessly to maintain. She had her work as she described it or things other people called interests. Her work was unpaid and mainly contributed to the family’s social success, she thought she was part of the brand and the brand was important. As she saw it she had no need to ride on his coat tails. His work was his work, so long as he acknowledged her as his wife and took her to their home town events and her place was clearly defined in any publicity, he could do what ever he needed for work.

‘Christina, can you come into the office please?’

Christina was a brunette, older than the other junior assistants a returner to work after her husband’s death, her children teenagers capable of getting themselves to and from school.  She didn’t need to work, she wanted to be occupied because prior working in the company’s head office in downtown San Francisco, she was a senior manager and teacher in city’s public school system and used to carrying responsibility.  She was an asset to the team, friendly, a team worker and attractive.  She drew attention and knew how to handle it.  Armand had noticed her and tried to treat her with respect and as a ‘normal’ colleague, it wasn’t working.  Increasingly, he gave her more things to do and asked her to shadow him in some of his meetings.  He was grooming her in more ways than one and did not realise he was doing it.  It passed unnoticed,   She did not deal with idiots very well and had a sharp tongue which she used to great effect with people who under-estimated her.  She could take care of herself, but she was not immune.  She noticed Armand as well.  His personal executive assistant started to give her things to do as well, he could see how things were going and thought it would come good or to blows, it wasn’t up to him to decide.  He knew sooner or later Armand would succumb, he knew virtually everything that went on in the house and whilst things were being very well fronted up there was chaos behind the front door.

‘I’m going to Chicago in a couple of weeks, do you want to come?  I think it would be a good experience for you and Mike is away, so I need some help.  If you can’t arrange childcare, we might be able to arrange something for you.  Let me tell you about the trip.  I hope I can persuade you to come.  I’d like your company, and most importantly you’re a very efficient and trustworthy person.

We are looking to get involved in some theatre productions, sponsoring a show or perhaps investing in the fabric of the building. I hear this company is going places and I hear they want some new rehearsal space and there is room on the site to build a specific space that they could design exactly to their needs.  I know you are involved in community theatre so you have an interest, right?  And, you might be able to give me some advice.  As for the Gala, if you are able to come, we can get you kitted out for that if you need any clothing or anything.  I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.  Have a think and come back to me.  I need to know by the end of the week so the right arrangements can be made.  We will need to book accommodation, and sort out somewhere we can do some work, I would prefer to do that in an office rather than at the hotel.  That would be more appropriate.  If you have any concerns, then just let Mike know, he will be able to sort them out for you and if you are really concerned you can always come and talk to me. Do you have any questions for me now Christina?

‘What kind of work is it Armand?’

‘Not that much different than what you are doing now, a little secretarial, mostly administration organising things, meeting arrangements, note taking, liaising on my behalf.  I also need you on hand at the Gala, to help me, support the work we are planning to do.  You’ll need to do some research on the people who are going to be at the Gala, and I’ll need you to feed me names, roles and their interest in the project.  Get info. that from Mike, he has a folder already.  Anything else?’

‘How long is the trip, How many days are ‘work’ and when is the Gala in all of this?  You have given me no information, really Armand you can’t expect me to come along with you unless you tell me all the basic information.’  She laughed.

‘You’ve assumed that I am coming with you, haven’t you?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

‘I want you…to come…Christina.’

‘Are you flirting with me?’

‘Yes.’

‘OK.’

Christina turned on her heels and left the room.  Went and saw Mike and told him she was going with Armand to Chicago.  Mike saw immediately that it was going to come good.  He got onto the trip and starting organising things on their behalf.  He was going on holiday at the end of the week, was back for a few days and then away for a few days. Armand needed him to hold the fort in the office whilst he was away.  He didn’t mind, he knew his job was safe.  Christina was destined for great things, she had brains, drive and was wily, she would be alright. Armand needed him, it was still a man’s world and Armand needed a right hand man, someone like him who could talk toe to toe with his peers without fear of having soften their approach, it was what it was.  If Armand was sensible he would get her a job somewhere else in the organisation or even outside the organisation.  Second thoughts, probably better outside the organisation, she would do OK in a corporate setting, she knew how to play office politics and she was good at her job.

Christina went home that evening and started planning; over the week she called her mother and told her she had to come to take care of her grandchildren for a few days.  She left that phone call promising to provide more details when she had them, begging her mother to come and stay with the children. She started preparing herself physically, calling in for a couple of treatments, getting a haircut so deceptive it looked like she had just had it blow dried rather than cut;  getting some business outfits dry cleaned, shining shoes, buying new underwear and tights (promised herself that this was needed anyway), reading a great deal about the committee members and other key theatre staff and theatre in the area.  She spoke with Mike who gave her the company credit card and told her to buy a couple of outfits, one for a pre-gala dinner the other for the gala itself.  Christina was statuesque, slim and above average height, she found a couple of vintage couture dresses from the fifties that fit. She already had accessories to match.  She didn’t use the card, she had money, the insurance from her husband’s death meant that she did not need to work, she also thought that she did not want to be beholden to Armand or to the company.  Whatever she did she wanted to do clear of any obligation.

‘Do you want me to book you both into a suite, Mr Hammer?’

Mike preserved a very business like approach, he got on well with Armand but did not presume they were friends, because they were not.  He did not mind not actually, he knew where he was in the hierarchy as did Armand and they observed the rigid social structure.  Both recognised that Christina crossed over into Armand’s world and she was a better fit for him than his wife, that is just how it was.  Increasingly, Mike could see how Christina could become an asset to the team.  That is provided Armand did not fall in love with her, if that happened, a world of trouble awaited, for both of them.  He began to watch carefully, he might have to start managing the situation.  The question was a test.  He looked at Armand to judge his response and the way this was going.

Armand caught on.

‘No.  Please book Christina in the floor above me. She is to be treated correctly, a suite is not appropriate.’

To Mike it made no difference where they fucked, it was going to happen, what was important was what happened afterwards.

 

The Gala event was difficult.  The members of the theatre company were very different from any group they had previously come into contact with.  They were not grateful and they were not impressed. Armand had his work cut out.  The principal person and chair of the group was more interested in Armand and his views, specifically his interest in theatre and why he wanted to get involved.  They only wanted the involvement of people who ‘got’ what they did. Armand had to work hard during the four days he and Christina were there, he needed to justify his involvement and prove it wasn’t just a corporate  jaunt.  Christina decided to stand back and act like the administrator she was.  They presented a professional front, acted merely as colleagues.  The Chair of the theatre group came back with Armand the first night for a nightcap, he saw beyond the front and he was checking on him, checking to see how he was using Christina. Despite their attempts at good behaviour the frisson was still there.  Christina was professional and attentive, her attention going further than providing administrative support, she looked out for Armand, she was very protective and made sure he was comfortable – it was natural to her and it was clear they got on.  The Chair noted the way she dressed, Christina saw that he noted and cursed herself, her clothes were the wrong side of modest, nothing showing everything seen.  She had dressed for Armand not for work, it was a mistake.  Her clothes were too sharp, they were dealing with creatives who did not care who made the clothes but noticed the effect, it was their work, they were paid to observe human behaviour.

On the first day, they had flown in early and arranged a pre-meeting with the Chair and their finance person not the Finance Director, a non-executive with the overview of finance and the project contingencies.  A brusque and direct man whose only concern was ensuring that anyone who contributed was beyond question or doubt, ie was not going to create a scandal and secondly that the money was ‘clean’.  The Theatre company would rather not accept money if it wasn’t right or a right fit.  This person handled the optics and the legal side of funding raising, he relied on others for the ‘feel’ and competency, he was trusted because although brusque and very businesslike, he had an absolute love of theatre and was on the board of two other theatre companies.  He knew the business inside and out, and he had unerring sense of the rightness of individuals. Armand did not set off any alarm bells, he might be interested in the administrator, but he was not different to many other men especially if they were powerful, it was a common trait and not only in the corporate world.  He had seen many men in thrall to women who weren’t their publicised partners, it hardly ever caused a real problem, only the occasion mild storm and almost never a reason for disestablishing a business entity.  Armand was careless, he should have left the woman at home, and in that showed a certain naivety and an indication that this was not practiced behaviour.  He was therefore safe and reliable.  Armand didn’t realise it but the theatre group was going to accept his money from that first evening.

Armand had also picked up that it wasn’t appropriate to bring Christina on this trip, there were other trips which were safer, ones which were straightforward business trips, trips where his purpose could be hidden or at least easily tolerated. It wasn’t the right time.  He was polite, courteous and a gentleman, in fact he told her not to come to the Gala, she didn’t argue.  She knew it wasn’t the right time either, in fact it was confirmation that they had embarked on a relationship not an affair.  She knew that if she attended the Gala, the working relationship would be exposed as a prelude.  She was happy to stay at the hotel with a quiet dinner in her room, they were going home the next day in any case, an afternoon flight had been booked.

At midnight, there was a knock on her door.

‘Who is it?’

‘Me.’

She let him in.  He pulled her to him and kissed her, sighed and left.  She sat on the bed for a few moments, resigned herself to what that meant, went back to bed and slept. That was the start.

 

Over the next four weeks they tried to keep a semblance of a professional working relationship, they had to work together.  It was hopeless, at first he tried to stay away from her, a week later he was never far from her side, the third week retreated again, the fourth week moped around and sent Mike to talk with her, by the middle of the fourth week after he had sent Mike a third time Mike very sharply told him to speak to her himself.  He was lovesick and distracted. He was staying in the company apartment on the pretext he was too busy, he did this sometimes when he wanted to focus on work related issues.  This time it was because he knew he had to work through what he knew was coming.  He hoped that Christina still felt the same about him as she had when he had kissed her and she had returned the kiss, mouth open accepting of his tongue, it had gone beyond exploring, a lover’s kiss.

Before the Chicago trip, they had been gradually working together as a team with Mike and his long time secretary Ella, who actually managed his diary and generally organised his life at work and home, Armand had stopped sharing his work around the pool of administrators and secretaries.  Eventually Armand gave in and invited her out to dinner.  He’d decided that he may as well be direct and not try to wrap this up under the cover of a business event or trip.

 

He called her in.

‘I have something I need to discuss with you, it’s confidential.  Close the door.’  This wasn’t strange, he often had business critical matters that he discussed with her privately in his office.  The offices had glass doors.  It was private, but they could be seen by everyone who was in the open plan element of the office.  Christina sat at a desk in a corner of the open plan area, his secretary sat alongside his office in an office which she shared with Mike.  All the other working directors offices were set up in the same way except that they all just had a private secretary and made use of the pool of staff who were under the management of an office manager who had a cubicle not an office.  Hierarchy was maintained the other directors were not direct family, they did not get the support Armand had.  He was family, his work covered the business and also the foundation. He needed the support to enable him to cover both arenas.  In this way, confidentiality was maintained.

‘Have dinner with me.  I want to talk with you.  Not about work – we have things to discuss, don’t we?’

Christina merely nodded. Her eyes were wide and deep, she looked back at him.

‘I know.’

‘I’m not free.’

‘I know. It doesn’t matter.  We have to talk.  Shall I come to the apartment tomorrow?’

It was too soon for him.  He couldn’t speak.  It wasn’t soon enough.  His mind was running on things that logically didn’t make sense. He saw himself in bed with her and also her getting into a taxi home, a taxi he hadn’t called.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Well shall I come tomorrow or not?’

Armand thought.  Tomorrow was Friday, he normally returned home, he always went home for the weekend.  He knew why she wanted to come, on Fridays and Saturday nights her children had sleepovers or spent time with their grandparents.  That meant she was able to spend the night, he wasn’t anticipating, convinced himself that he was just observing what normally happened, and then realised it was something that he wanted very much.

‘Yes, come tomorrow.’

He would not be able to spend the night. At the same time he realised that he was telling himself a lie.  If she allowed, they would spend the night together.

‘Shall I cook?’

Armand now was soft and wanting.

‘Yes please.’

 

She arrived at seven, with a small bag of food.  Things she had already cooked, some chicken in a home made tomato sauce, pasta and salad in a bag she had bought from the supermarket, and a banoffee cheesecake made with reduced sugar and lite cream.

‘I hope you like it, it’s what we have at home – it won’t take long to put together.’

Armand took the food out of her hands and drew her close.

‘I want you.’

‘I know.’

He held her hand and took her off down the hall.

 

The next week Armand managed things so that Christina accompanied him to all his meetings, it did not go unnoticed.

‘You are very lucky.  How did you manage to get him to book you out for the whole week?  Come tell me, I’m bored with the stuff I get to do.’

‘Some people just seem to be able to get in with the right people without too much…trouble…’

‘Let me know how you did it.  What did you have to do?’

Christina just brushed them off with a blushing smile.  She held herself to herself, acted professionally and did everything with aplomb.  Armand noted, and invited her out to a business dinner on Thursday, he didn’t presume to ask if she would stay at the apartment.  She volunteered telling him that the children were spending the week with her mother and would be leaving for school/college from their grandmother’s house.  If he wanted she would spend Friday night with him too.  He glazed over with happiness, and the real beginnings of falling in love.  Again it did not go unnoticed.

‘You seem very happy Armand.’

Violet was questioning his behaviour whilst he judged what kind of response he should give.

‘I am happy Violet.’

‘Why?’

‘That’s a silly question.  I have a lovely family, things are going well at work, and I have a lively evening ahead of me.’

‘Yes, I am sorry I can’t come. It would have been nice to go along to see that film, what was it again?’

Violet did not like the movies.  A new client had arranged dinner and a movie, Armand was glad Violet had decided not to come.’

‘You know I could re-organise my meeting with Jenny…’ 

She was waiting to see how he reacted.  Armand couldn’t help it, he froze.

‘Who is she?’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Who is she?’

‘I don’t know what you are talking about. What do you mean who is she?’

‘You have been walking around like a lovesick loon.  Do you think I am stupid?’

‘Violet, keep your voice down.’

‘I shall speak as I find fit.  Who are you fucking?’

‘Well it obviously isn’t you…’

Violet walked past him and out of the room.

Armie Jnr was standing in the doorway, he tried to get out of the way of his mother who pushed past him on the way out as she went through.  Armand wasn’t sure how much he’d heard, he decided not to address the conversation he’d just had. Armie Jnr. stood expectantly, he might have got away with it.

‘Are you going out Dad?’

‘I am darling.  Do you want some help with your homework?’

If Armand was home he would spend a little time going through Armie Jnr.’s school work with him.

‘When is it due Armie?’

‘Tomorrow.’

Armand looked at his watch, he had half an hour.

‘Come.’

 

He ran over time and arrived just in time for the film, Christina was holding her own, she knew most of the people there and they had recognised her from the meetings they had all had.  The intention was to have a late supper and a few beers, Christina had said she would leave him after she eaten and meet him at the apartment.  They were walking in together and as both turned to go into the screening room his wife walked in and claimed him.

He had to introduce his mistress to his wife, and they recognised each other on sight.  Christina had a moment and then gathered herself, choosing to go in with the larger group and to sit several rows and to the right of Armand who could not keep his eyes off her.  In all of the kerfuffle of seating arrangements, being handed ice cream tubs and popcorn, and subsequent darkness nobody noticed his disinterest in the film.

‘Are you coming home?’

‘No.’

 

‘Armand, what are we doing?’

It was a conversation he didn’t want to have.

‘I think I am in love with you.’

‘I didn’t ask you that.  What are we doing?’

‘Christina I am married.  I can’t do anything about that.  Look I am not going to lie to you and tell you I am ready to leave her yet. I have something beyond friendship with you and I want to see how that goes.  I am not promising anything beyond I want to spend more time with you.’

It was honest and clear.  She liked him beyond friendship too and yet…

‘I can’t do this.’

She left.

The following week she handed in her notice and within four weeks she had left San Francisco and gone to work in New York state for a Fortune 500 company, leaving her boys with her mother, to head up the administration of the executive administrative team, fully intending to send for them when she had settled. She didn’t speak with Armand again after that night at the apartment, but he had put the company in touch with her and in doing so put himself out of her reach.  It had to be like that, it was going to be all or nothing, he wasn’t going to string her along or make her something to be despised, he loved her.  After that he spent a few months gathering himself together and moving out of the bedroom at home.  Within six months he had a proper mistress someone who knew what was what and who went with him on the basis that he could give her access to a lifestyle and connections that only few could dream of.  Violet was becalmed, her future was written. 

Armie never forgot how his father looked when his mother left the room.  A man crushed by a future he could not forestall, devastated, fallen apart in front of his wife and son.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More back story - Armie is a teenager, things are difficult at home.
> 
> \- A teenage romance starts, there is a promise of underage sex.
> 
> This is fiction.

Violet had an events business that Armand Senior had set up for her, she didn’t work in it, it was a foil for her social life.  The business a useful cover for doing nothing.  Armie was mainly left to his own devices, his father would go away on business for a week sometimes two and every time he came back the boy had grown.  He had too much going on in his life anyway, Christina had gone and he was in the midst of resolving how he felt about that.  He knew he was going to take a mistress, but the pain of losing Christina was still too close.  It had only been three months. He moved out of the marital bedroom and into one of the rooms on the upper floor, that meant he sent Armie down to the same floor as his mother.  He didn’t want the boy rummaging around in his space and in any case he no longer needed the nursery and play room, he was going to reconfigure the rooms into one large bedroom and a dressing room, there was already a bathroom and separate toilet – he was going to join everything up into one large suite, and include a living space (Armie’s former bedroom) which included an area where he could work, it was virtually its own apartment  By the time the building work was completed three months later, he had moved on and found himself a girl who was intelligent and only out for what she could get.  She was sharp and she did not care if he was married, he could take her anywhere, she was from a ‘good’ family and she did not give a fuck about what anyone thought, and she was rich enough not to care, she didn’t need his money.  What she wanted was his connections with other rich industrialists and his growing influence in the cultural and artistic world.  She could be the very epitome of charm in a social situation and the very devil in bed. A perfect combination for where he was.

Armie regarded happenings with a placid and resolute outlook.  He could see that things were not right between his mother and father and didn’t understand that it not normal for a husband to move out of his wife’s bed.  Or that it was irregular for a husband to spend several unexplained nights away from home each week.  His mother just said his father was out somewhere. Armand tried, he would endeavour to spend two evenings at home during which the aim was to spend time with Armie Jnr., his idea of an evening home was to arrive home after seven, help Armie with his homework or drive him back from an activity – choir, friends or sport, get a drink, eat a meal with the ‘family’, get onto his computer and work until ten, at some point check on Armie – he would talk to him or review something that Armie was reading for fun or was related to something Armie enjoyed, he would for instance listen when Armie was practicing a choral piece or watch while he painted or drew.  Armie was naturally gifted and could play a piece by ear on a piano and draw or paint with proper perspective.  These were not gifts that Armand understood, he could see no purpose to them, but Armie enjoyed them so Armand tried.  Armie Jnr knew his father didn’t like him to do these things, it made him uncomfortable in his company, recognising that in some way his father was disappointed in him.  He’d tried baseball and football but his hand-eye co-ordination was poor, eventually he gave up sport; his father was at a loss, his boy loved being outside and couldn’t throw a ball straight.

 

As Armie hit puberty, his father began to talk to him about what it meant to be a man.  He told him that men fucked women and took part in manly things.  Manly things being drinking, shooting guns, supporting a team; football, baseball and boxing were suitable other sports were not – he lived in the hope that Armie Jnr. would come good, he was growing into a perfect human specimen. Otherwise hanging out with other men and maintaining the status quo was good – a world where men ruled all important things.  If a woman was capable of managing people or a service promote her, but these women were rare. He impressed on him that most were really only interested in staying home and having children. They naturally managed things in that arena, like his mother.  Except that Armie saw from an early age that his mother did not run the house.  She relied on a team of people who she oversaw, there was a housekeeper who actually ran the household and the household diary, a cook who also took on some household tasks and a man of all work who did the garden, tasks around the house and most of the chauffeuring.  Armie had his own assistant who was his last nanny and stayed on to manage Armie’s life, she took care of him personally and did the normal running around that a child required.  She prepared his meals when he was small and continued to do so.  His life had very little input from his parents, he was put on ‘show’ at specific times; his mother would see him when she returned from so called work events, lunchtime appointments, meeting other rich men’s wives or shopping. Again she tried to speak with him every day but once he went to school the only time available for her to see him was the short period after school before his father got home.

Everything was random.  He wanted for nothing except the attention of the two people who were supposed to care for him the most.  Armie Jnr. was lucky if he saw either parent three times in the week.  At the weekend, he was sent out to children’s parties and shows in the mistaken belief that he needed to mix with his peers, what he needed was their presence, their love and their care.  He learnt how to manage and manipulate his way around this world, and he wasn’t disliked because he could be charming, and honestly open in his manipulation.  He knew how to talk to people, and his mother loved parties where she could mix with right people, the children an easy excuse. He could get under the skin but not really relate, something was missing.

The damage was done, he could work out what other people wanted, but not how to get what he needed. Nobody told him and nobody gave him context.  He did not know what was expected beyond good grades and good behaviour – easy deliverables, his parents could offer no model of a normal life, their own version of life was warped by a film of money and privilege, where everything was possible, nobody said no and everyone had some kind of expectation.

 

Armie withdrew from family life. His Grandmother, Doria, watched on from the wings, she saw what was going on but could not intervene, her son Armand Senior told her the boy was OK. He wasn’t. At thirteen Doria took him into her home, initially on the pretext that she would have him for the Summer, and at the beginning of the Autumn term, Armie went back to the day school he attended which was in the vicinity of his parents house but was pulled out at Christmas clearly in distress, his voice was breaking  and he had shot up to 5’ 9” towering over his fellow school mates. His size and bearing put him outside normal scope and he could not handle it. He returned to Doria and a local independent small private school.  He never returned home.

 

At fourteen Armie grew into his looks and began to lose the soft baby face which denoted him as child.  People would openly look into his face to work out if he was indeed a child or a young man.  He was a very attractive teenager.  His Grandmother tried to warn him of the dangers some people might pose to him.  Armie would look guileless as she tried to explain, he understood what she was saying and knew how to manage people who might take advantage of him but he did not know how to manage himself.  He had already had one crush and now he was physically capable of acting upon his desires. So he looked at his Grandmother and showed her that he understood what he was supposed to do.  It wasn’t girls that were the problem, it was boys…he had a certain thing for slender dark haired boys and his body did not trick him.   He had not put all the pieces together but Doria was onto him, she saw how he got heavy lidded and who could do this to him.  As far as she could she kept him out of harm’s way and then a new family moved into their gated community and she knew that she would have her work cut out.

One of the sons was sixteen, he was slender, fair of face, tallish, dark haired and already out. Like Armie he drew attention.  The family were pragmatic, liberal and understanding.  There was an older daughter and a younger son of 13. The boys went to the same school as Armie. The girl was coming up to 19, and had just started college, she was home weekends, she lived on campus, visited the family at the weekend, and she had a boyfriend, but she did not sleep with him at the family house. The family were liberal but conscious that there were siblings who did not need to have their sister’s sex life displayed in front of them. 

Naturally, Jacob offered Armie a regular ride to school, Doria thwarted that by offering Jacob and his brother Micah a ride in the car that took Armie to school, Jacob refused he didn’t want to lose his freedom, nor the chance to get Armie on his own.  It had not taken long for the boys to notice each other and seek out a friendship.

When Armie was 13, the son of an acquaintance tried to start a ‘friendship’ with him, the son, Roper, was 18.  Roper already had a reputation around his behaviour with the vulnerable, and people who were weaker or younger than him.  When he tried to put his hands on Armie, Armie realised his strength and the fact that he had nothing to fear from this bully, and punched him, knocking him onto the floor. Doria called the police, that family had had to leave the area.  Doria saw to it that people knew about Roper, there were no charges but notes were made and he was monitored thereafter.  The family were comparably rich, the lawyers were in on the situation very quickly, rehab was offered and undertaken on the basis that it was a basic misunderstanding and the treatment would teach him appropriate behaviour. Roper completed it and was automatically deemed safe, he wasn’t, but he was no longer Doria’s problem.  Armie learnt to be watchful, it was easy to become bait and vulnerable, for the first time in his life he took control of what was happening to him and he liked it.  He developed a second sense, people it was safe to be around and people who were basically nasty; he started to put down boundaries.

Meanwhile Doria waited, she knew it was a question of time before Armie ventured into some kind of relationship, she would guide him, it was something natural, she only worried that he choose the right person…Jacob may be that person, she liked him.

‘Can Jacob come round to play X-Box, Baba?’

Doria looked at Armie very carefully.  She judged the situation, Armie seemed ingenuous, like he really thought Jacob wanted to play computer games.  His blue eyes were clear and placid.  Doria stood back and really looked at Armie, the boy was playing her.

‘Yes, but not in your bedroom – family room only.’

‘Thanks, he’s coming tomorrow, can we have some snacks and things?’

‘What things Armie?  No headphones or doors closed, and he has to go home by 8.30pm.  You still have school.  Ask Gloria to prepare some food for you – you can’t have snacks, you are getting round…’

Armie made a face.  He hadn’t quite lost all the softness of a prepubescent teenager, although tall and developing a manly physique he was essentially still breaking the border into youth, not yet a man and not mature.  This was why Doria sought to protect him.

She nearly suggested Jacob take him for a walk or a jog but thought better, best that they were both somewhere where she could keep an eye on both of them.  She was beginning to feel that Armie may not be as innocent as he appeared.  In the last few months she had noticed that he was becoming secretive around his night time and early morning rituals, she guessed his body had reached maturity, there would be things happening to him that he may be self-conscious about, a surge of hormones meant he was liable to experiment, and she wanted it to be done safely and not taken at a rush.  She had to find some time to speak with Jacob.  It was in some ways a good thing that he was coming to the house.  She would get him on his own when he came to the house.

‘Armie?  You’ve attended all the personal health lessons?’

‘What do you mean? We had personal hygiene, washing…they told us about bodies and manners and stuff.’

Doria sat him down and went into detail about sex, she spoke of what might be expected.  He already knew.  His father had told him…albeit about women.  But he kept quiet, no need for Baba to know that he knew how things worked.  She might be able to tell him other things that he had not heard about. And she did, she told him how men had sex with other men and what precautions he needed to take.  He took everything in, Doria had age-restricted his laptop and iPad, but Armie had an X-Box and he knew how to get the internet and he knew how to research.

Doria watched him, she guessed that he had found a way to get onto the internet other than his known devices.  The furtive behaviour continued, and he had that touching deviousness which teenage boys think is not palpable.

Jacob came round the next day.  Doria got him before he went into the family room.  The family room had three seater and two seater sofas, a wireless sound system which allowed playing of CDs and streaming of music, video, TV and Films, and, there was a large screen because Armand compensated for his lack of parental care and paid all of Armie’s expenses and basically for anything else he wanted.  He’d given Doria a credit card to use for Armie’s things.  The room was soundproofed, that meant when the door was closed nothing could it heard.

‘Hi Jacob, how are you?’

‘I’m great, thank you Mrs Hammer.  And thank you for allowing me to come round and see Armie.’

The boy had the grace to blush.

Doria had an in.

‘Come with me Jacob, I just wanted to have a quick word.’

She took him into her room, formally known as the morning room, a smaller room in comparison to the rest of the rooms on the ground floor, one which received daylight from dawn until dusk. It had a large window which looked over the garden and swept out into a lovely view taking in a number of mature trees, flowering shrubs and green grass, in the summer sitting by the window felt anywhere but urban.

‘Sit there Jacob, just move that onto the table.  Please don’t be embarrassed.  I am going to talk to you about Armie.’

Jacob sat there mutely, a fixed and stubborn look was rolling down his face.

‘What do you mean?’

‘It’s OK Jacob.  I know you like each other.  And I do mean sexually.’

Jacob flushed, his body was squirming.

Doria knew she had to be careful.  She didn’t want to any complaints but neither was she going to allow Armie to be taken advantage of.

‘You are…I know that you like boys, Armie isn’t certain yet about this himself.  He clearly likes you and I know you like him.  I have seen the way you both look at each other. I am only asking that you take care with him.  If you just want to have sex with him, leave him alone, he’s only fourteen, there are other boys who will gladly go to bed with you.  I guess you have already had sex?’

Jacob didn’t answer, so she took that as a yes.

‘I don’t even know if Armie has kissed anyone.  I don’t ask him his business.’

‘Then why are you interfering?’

‘Jacob, if this was your brother, what would you do?’

Silence.

‘Take your time with him, that is all I am asking.  It will all come out the way it should.  If you need somewhere to be with him, come here.  Don’t take him anywhere unsafe or outside in some place where you can hide, come here where you can be safe.  I won’t say anything, it is your business and it is private. If you do go beyond kissing and making out I would rather you did it here.  I love that boy and I want him to be comfortable when he takes his first steps into a relationship.  I don’t know what you want.  I only ask you to be kind.  If you are not kind, let me tell you I am a woman who does not forget…and I will make right any wrong you do to him.  Do I make myself clear?’

Jacob nodded.  He looked vulnerable, he wasn’t yet grown and he wasn’t knowing in the way that shows how a young person becomes marred, something spoilt, the look of a bloom gone off, like a rose whose blossom was fading, the petals beginning to turn and fall away.

‘Mrs Hammer, I like Armie a lot, I’m not gonna lie to you.  He’s nice and he’s funny, and he is kind.  When he speaks to me I feel like I want to look after him.  I won’t treat him bad Mrs Hammer, that is the last thing on my mind.  I want to be his friend.’

‘You want more than that Jacob, and that is alright. Your curfew is eight-thirty, he has school tomorrow – you’re welcome to come here any time.  Weekends your curfew is nine-thirty, no going into bedrooms.  And no closed doors. His phone, iPad and laptop are age restricted, so don’t bother sending any shit.  Do I make myself clear?  And also don’t bother sending any messages or email with pictures with nudes, they are restricted at the router and on his devices.   Off you go, he’ll be wondering where you are.’

Jacob looked relieved, he slid out of the door.

The two boys sat quietly and played, there was a constant quiet chatter between them and when he was ready to go, Jacob put an arm around Armie, squeezed him and left.

The next day Jacob came back, same.

He was busy over the weekend and didn’t return until Monday, Armie was overjoyed and leapt at him, practically grabbing his arm and pulling him into the room.

This time they sat close together, watched a film, ate some popcorn drank some coke, Jacob put his arm around Armie and they leant back comfortably in the two seater.  Doria went to spy on them and smiled.

Two days later, Armie kissed Jacob shyly on the cheek when he was leaving, Jacob put his arm around him and held him close.

Two weeks later, Jacob kissed Armie on the mouth, softly.

Three weeks after their first date, because that is what it was, Jacob kissed Armie properly and Doria knew because Armie wandered around afterwards like a lost soul, his eyes blitzed out and his mouth still tasting the kiss.  Thereafter Doria knew they were making out, kissing and touching nothing more.

Three months later, Jacob came to see her.

‘Armie wants to sleep with me.’

‘Let me speak with him.’

 

‘Are you sure this is what you want? This is not something you can take back.’

The boy was brazen.

‘I don’t have to tell you anything.  I could have gone somewhere with him and we could have done it and you wouldn’t know.’

He was right.

‘Jacob is kind to me, and I want him.’

‘That is not a reason to have sex Armie, sex is part of a commitment to a person.  It is a thing you give to someone because you care for them.’

‘Sex isn’t always about love.’

Doria was taken aback.

‘OK. Why do you want to sleep with him Armie.’

‘I want him.  He makes me feel…I can’t control my body…things happen…and I want to try…’

‘OK.  I understand that Armie.  But you have to understand that you are both underage.  It isn’t just about how you feel.  I have a responsibility for you and I can’t encourage you to do this.  I can make it safe for you.  And I like Jacob, he has treated you well and he did the right thing by letting me know.  Sit down Armie, let’s talk about this.

If you are old enough to have sex, you are old enough to discuss it properly.  You are both underage, and you are right, I can’t really stop you.  You will only end up doing something unsafe if I forbid you or ignore your behaviour.  How are you going to protect yourself?’

‘What?’

‘Has he been tested? He’s had sex before?’

‘I don’t know…’

‘If you are going to have sex Armie at least ask some questions…you can’t just have sex without understanding what risks you are taking.  I am not going to stop you, I am not stupid I can’t, but if I have to know about it, I need to know that you are doing it willingly, and that you are being safe.  And by safe I mean that you use condoms.’

‘Where am I going to get condoms. Fuck.’

‘Don’t swear.  If I buy them then I will be encouraging you.  Do you see my difficulty?  If you want to have sex, I would prefer you did it here, but you need to go talk to Jacob and work things out properly, don’t just run off and do it. Do you want to have anal sex? You know it will be more comfortable with lube?’

Armie’s face was the colour of a strawberry, it was kind of cute.  Doria took pity.

‘Go and talk with him.’

The two boys held off.

A month later.

‘I can’t wait, I want to fuck him.’

Doria looked at Armie, he had a determined resolute look and demeanour, it was going to happen whether she approved or not.  Against her better judgement she decided to take a risk.

‘The weekend before Irene comes, invite him here then, I’ll stay in the guesthouse, he can come on Friday night, and stay until Sunday, I’ll come back to the house Sunday afternoon, around five, that is plenty of time. I’ll get you what you need, condoms and some lube.  I want to be near, but I won’t come into the house and I’ll give Gloria the long weekend off.  You need to get all your schoolwork done before he arrives, if you can’t then he’ll have to come Saturday.

Armie, you don’t have to have full sex you know, you can have oral sex, and there are other…hmm…things you can do.’

‘I’ve done all of that, I want to fuck him.  He doesn’t mind.  He prefers to…you know…he’s…’

‘OK…OK…I am going to ask you one more time, why do you want to sleep with Jacob?’

‘Oh Baba…I just want him…when we’ve, you know…kiss…and touch each other…it isn’t enough…he can make me…umm…you know…with his mouth or his hand…we get on so well and I feel really close to him…it’s just nice…it feels nice to be with him…I just want to do it with him…I really really like him.’

Doria saw how his body changed.  He was ready, his body had been ready for a while, he was ready for that skin to skin contact which cemented a relationship.  He was soft and yielding, all over feeling. His hands gave him away, she could see how he wanted to hold onto something, and his speech riven through genuine. He’d be fifteen by the time Irene came, still underage but growing in maturity.  His voice had broken.  He’d grown in height, was now near enough 5’ 11’’, on his way to his full height, and sturdy.  He looked of age and Jacob had been good for him, he had calmed down and his manners had improved remarkably. She walked over to him, drew him up and gave him a big hug, her head now only reached his shoulder, he wrapped his long arms around her and hugged her back.

‘You’re ready.  Do you want to talk to your father about this?’

‘No. He doesn’t like men who sleep with other men.  And you are not to tell him either.’

Well, Armand had never said that he didn’t but he hadn’t said he didn’t mind and given that Armand had only ever spoken about male/female relationships and spoken about them in a way which showed what he thought was right, Armie had drawn a conclusion, and he wasn’t wrong.   Doria was sad, because she also knew Armand and this was one of the reasons she had taken Armie into her home, she knew which way things were going to go and it was best for Armie that he was with her rather than back in his father’s home.

Her next concern was Jacob’s parents, they could be liberal and still mind.  She decided they needed to know.  So far only pleasantries had been exchanged.  They knew Jacob was seeing Armie and they knew both boys were serious about each other, she wasn’t sure if they had kept up with where they were in the relationship.  Doria invited them round for drinks the coming weekend.  Irene was two weekends after.

Hello Paige, come, come in.  You can leave that there Aaron.  Gloria will get that.’ 

Gloria was the housekeeper, she was the only help that Doria had, she had been with Doria the whole time Armie was alive, he had grown up with her in the background, and he talked to her in a way which also seeking advice.  She knew as much about Jacob as Doria, Gloria was trusted and a confidante to both, she had also signed an NDA.  Doria was trusting but not stupid.

‘What would you like?  We have most nearly everything.’

‘Any beer, we are not big spirit drinkers, or wine?  What wine do you have?’

‘Red or white?’

‘Red.’

‘Good, I have some open, I had some last night when the boy went to bed.’

Paige was direct: ‘It’s about Armie and Jacob?’

‘Yes, I’ll be straight with you, they want to sleep together.’

Aaron answered.  ‘Kind of guessed that, I know how Jacob is, and he has been giving us signs that something like this was on the cards.  Do you mind?’

‘No…well yes, but no. If you know what I mean.  Armie is young.  My only concern is that they are doing this too early.  But Armie is determined. He wants to do it and he will do it whether I approve or not.

‘Same, Doria, same.’  Paige spoke.

‘I spoke with both of them, I hope you don’t mind.  I told them that I would prefer if they did anything, it was here, where they are safe.  I don’t want them to go into a park or a car park or anywhere unsafe.’

‘I know Doria.  I don’t want to ban them either…I think we have to be realistic…they will sleep together whether we like it or not, and even if they decide not to actually have full sex, they are already doing things which have the same result, if you get what I mean.  There will be people who say that we should teach them abstinence…I don’t believe that.  I believe sex was given to us as something to enjoy, and that we find it at different times and in different ways, so I will never tell Jacob not to have sex, I only ask him to be safe, to be sure that he trusts the person and that he knows why he is having sex.’

Paige’s face was kind of set.  It said defy me at your peril. Doria understood.  She liked her, she could tell that she would defend her son and protect him, and God help anyone who did him wrong. She understood, Same same.  Armie was in good hands.

‘So, I can see we have the same understanding.  Do you mind if they are here…come here?’

‘No.’ And Aaron nodded his agreement.

‘Do you want to stay for something to eat?  Gloria has prepared something just in case, there’s some chicken or fish, salad and some avocado thing she has prepared, the avocado thing is nice – kind of a salad too, tomatoes, anchovies, olives and dressing.  I would really like for you to stay.’

Paige and Aaron looked at each other.

‘Why not?  Armie is over at our house and both boys are in – we’re safe.’  Some laughter and all settled into an easy conversation, they stayed until Jacob brought Armie home, Micah with them as Jacob wouldn’t leave him by himself at home.

‘Can Jacob stay?’

‘No. It’s late, you’re late…isn’t Armie’s curfew nine-thirty?  It’s gone ten.’

‘But we were waiting for you…’

‘Don’t lie Jacob…what were you doing?  You could have come earlier.’

‘Nothing…’

‘OK…Micah what where you all doing.’

‘I don’t know what they were doing, I was upstairs in my room reading, I fell asleep and then they called me…’

‘You little sneak…’

‘OK…OK…what has he sneaked on?’

Jacob and Armie stood silent.

‘Right…’

Doria snickered.

‘Bedtime.’


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the Present. Armie and Timmy are still at the hotel.
> 
> This is fiction.

They spent the next day and night in the hotel, it felt right for Armie to continue telling Timmy about his past, what he’d already heard had put him in edge. This episode sounded almost too good.  To have a lover at that age, to be so certain that it was the right thing and to have someone like Doria and Paige, people who were understanding and accepting.  Their hotel bedroom became a chamber of relevation.  In truth Timmy did not want to go back to the dacha until he had heard everything he needed to hear.  He knew there was more, there was something unsettling yet to follow and Armie was taking his time to reveal it.

‘Shall we go for a walk? I feel like I’ll lose the use of my legs if we stay in this bed much longer and the room needs cleaning and some fresh air.’

They had spent a whole day in bed, eating by room service, continued into night and it was now Sunday morning.  Armie did not want to break the mood.

‘We don’t need to leave the room.’

‘Can’t Armie, I need to leave this room.’

‘Let’s not fight.  Compromise. If we go back to the dacha, then we can spend as long as we like in bed.’

Timmy had to agree, but also felt he needed to explain why he wanted to stay.

‘I don’t really want to go back until I have heard everything you need to tell me.  I almost feel like if we go to the dacha we will be putting bad memories into our space there.  I want to come back here with you Armie, and I want to go back to the dacha.  Let’s not spoil it.’

‘It’s not spoiling it Timothy.  Sitka will always be the place where you first heard and seen the real me.  You have to learn to live with the shit I had to go through to get where I am today. I am going to share everything with you, the sharing is like life, not all parts can be good.  We have to re-form what we know.’

‘Armie, I want to hear but I know the memories will always hang over me, and what we have.’

‘The memories are always there Timmy, you just have to learn not to access them and live in the present, be happy.’

‘I feel like I feel, let’s go for a walk and come back here. You have something else you need to tell me.  You can tell me here.  When we go back to the dacha, we will be free and clear. That’s it.  I am not going to argue about this.’

 

They took a walk along the marina waterfront, found a secluded shelter and sat down.  They both needed it.  Armie more than he realised.  He took Timmy’s hand, hid he was doing so by bringing it close to his body and into his lap, covered by his other hand..  The town was small, everybody looked like a local even the visitors, Timmy and Armie stood out even though they were not wearing their normal LA casual, everyone else dressed with no semblance of fashion, like regular moms and dads, even the teenagers.  There were no metropolitan versatile men here.  Timmy started giggling.

‘Look at Mom…’

‘Yeah, she looks like Violet…gone to seed and fat.’

‘There’s your dad…’

‘No, he’s better looking, but the clothes are shit…my Dad would die rather than wear that…look at the shoes, they’re at least 20 years old.’

‘Nothing wrong with them…look, only been soled twice…’

Armie looked at Timmy, he looked around, nobody was really noticing them, kissed him on the mouth. A woman did a double-take as he was coming away from the kiss.

‘I thought you said you didn’t want me to touch you in the street, and here you are kissing me…’

He dimpled, and kissed him back except he put his tongue in his mouth.  Armie accepted, and pressed him back onto the bench, kissing him thoroughly, slow and deep and for a long time, his hand across Timmy’s waist and holding his corresponding arm.  Armie released his mouth, watching as Timmy sucked his swollen lips

‘Fuck ‘em’

Looked at the lips, made a noise in his throat and went back in for another kiss.

‘Take it inside Sir.’

They laughed, got up, and walked back to the hotel, arms around each other. People were watching surreptitiously, eyes followed them as they disappeared into the hotel lobby.  Men didn’t behave like that on Sitka streets.

They got back into their room an hour later, having stopped for brunch in the Hotel restaurant.  Took off their shoes and went to lie on the bed, Timmy rested his head on Armie’s shoulder, shortly thereafter they both fell asleep.  Woke up and it was two, called for some tea, a fruit basket and bottles of water.

 

‘We haven’t fucked for two days…what happened?’

‘I don’t know, perhaps you don’t want me…that or I talk too much…’

Timmy pulled the zip of Armie’s trousers down, and slid his hand in, began caressing Armie’s dick.  Armie pulled his face up, opened his mouth and claimed Timmy, there was kissing and continued stroking for some while.

‘Let me pull it out.’

Timmy bent down and took Armie in his mouth.

‘I’m gonna suck and kiss you till you come.’

He undressed Armie, starting with his socks. Stood him up and kissed him, continued this pattern of removing an item of clothing and kissing, then sucking, until Armie was naked, his cock standing ready. Then Timmy stripped himself. Turned so his ass was facing Armie who on view panted slowly, took Armie’s big toe into his mouth, sucked it for a while, Armie began holding his breath, Timmy got further down, and caressed the toe with his tongue, then licked down through sole and onto the soft flesh behind his ankle, biting the tendon that rose, then did the same to other foot.

‘You can’t touch anything…’

The hair on Armie’s legs started to stand up, his flesh ran on fire as Timmy’s mouth snaked down his flesh flicking at hairs, the tip of his tongue running down a shin, sucking on one leg, stroking the other, Timmy’s ass over his face, dick erect and dripping into Armie’s mouth.

‘Suck me you fucker.’

Timmy hands were either side of Armie’s thighs, knees either side of his head which rested on pillows, he squatted down and placed his dick in Armie’s mouth, spread his legs and dipped right into the mouth.

‘Don’t choke me, you little shit.’

‘Open up, don’t tell me what to do you fucker, bend your head back, you are going to take everything I give you, motherfucker.’

Armie’s cock twitched.

‘Oh, you like that…’

Timmy started to fuck Armie’s mouth.

‘Suck it harder, motherfucker.’

Timmy stopped giving Armie any pleasure, he was taking what he wanted now.

Lifted up.

‘Get up, on your knees.’

They both stood, Armie got on his knees and Timmy resumed fucking his mouth, he was kind he did not force it down his throat.

‘How much can you take, baby?’

He pressed half his length into Armie’s mouth.

‘You can suck me off. Use your teeth a little…oh shit…yeah just like that fucker.’

Armie had canines and very sharp molars, he gently pressed them into use, then sucked and used his tongue to swirl on swollen flesh.

‘That’s it…oh Christ…keep going baby.’

‘Timmy placed his hand on Armie’s head, grabbed a clump of hair, pulled his head back.

‘Open up, here comes more.’

Timmy stood still and held Armie’s head in the right position by his hair.

‘Yeah…’

Armie swallowed.

‘Oh fuck…’

Armie opened his mouth, took a deep breath and closed around Timmy as much as he could, rhythmically sucking and hollowing.

A stream of obscenities followed as Timmy climaxed, and held himself in Armie’s mouth until he had finished.

‘You have to wait, I want to fuck you. Don’t touch yourself.’

Timmy walked over to the fruit basket.

‘What do you want to eat baby?’

Armie looked at him to see if he meant it.  He did.

‘The avocado please.’

Timmy sat on the bed.

‘Come here.  Sit in front of me.  Who told you to stand up?’

Armie crawled over and sat in front of Timmy’s open legs.  His glistening cock was right in front of him.  Armie’s cock did not falter, he was longing to touch it or feel Timmy’s mouth on it.

‘Salt and Pepper? No?  OK, open up.’

Timmy fed him slices.

‘Good boy.  If you behave I’m gonna give you some banana too.’ 

He peeled a nicely soft banana and placed it in Armie’s mouth, feeding him, sliding it in like a cock.

‘Do you like that? Come closer. Smell me.’

Armie shuffled closer, and pressed nose in that space between ball, cock and groin, took a deep breath and groaned, it was almost too much.

Timmy moved off the bed.

‘Do you want something to drink, a cup of tea or some water baby?’

He brushed Armie’s face gently, bent and kissed him on the mouth, caressing his lips, a trace of his tongue.

‘Tea please.’

‘Black or with milk?’

‘Can I have black please, not too strong.’

Timmy filled the kettle and put it on.

‘Whilst we are waiting you can lick me til I’m hard.’

Timmy got back onto the bed and laid down so his heels were just on the edge of bed

‘Move me into the right position for your mouth, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable darling.’

‘Can I open your legs some more please.’

‘Yes.  And don’t touch my dick.’

Armie got Timmy’s legs and placed them over his shoulders, placed his hands behind the knees and gently spread him wide open. His tongue was probing, teeth nipping, he sucked a ball into his mouth, tongue passing over flesh, released the ball dropped the tongue down to his hole and pressed inward opened his mouth, pressed the flesh around Timmy’s hole and started fucking him with his tongue.

Timmy’s dick began to respond, he didn’t need much time, and the sensation was overwhelming.

The tea was forgotten.

Armie took the other ball into his mouth, and repeated the process. Timmy’s dick was lying on his stomach, hard, hard enough to fuck.

Armie’s dick was also hard, hard enough for a few strokes to set him off, he knew he would not last long if Timmy started to fuck him.

‘Stop.  Get on the bed, on your knees.’

Timmy got some lube, spread some on his hands and fingers.

‘Spread your legs.’

He got behind Armie, stroked his dick and placed the tip directly on Armie’s hole…a promise. Then inserted the whole of a slick finger inside Armie who was so hard that this made his dick jump.  Timmy placed another finger in.  Armie groaned.

‘Oh shit.’ Now Armie spoke, and Timmy was silent.

Timmy didn’t need to open Armie up anymore, his body was ready, he spat on his hole, it clenched, he rubbed his thumb against it, it started pulsing.  Armie began moving back, he wanted something anything to be inside him.  Timmy dropped some lube down the crease of his ass and watched as it ran down.  Armie began shaking.

‘Please…’

Timmy remained silent.  He took off a pillowcase and folded it into a crease, drew that gently down and across Armie’s hole.  Armie’s whole body stuttered and jumped.

‘Oh fuck…’

Timmy gently did it again, then immediately pressed a finger inside him, drew it out slowly and repeated the process several times.  Armie was whimpering with pleasure, softly crying out and humming.

Timmy got hold of his dick and gently pressed it into Armie who gasped and physically accepted Timmy’s cock like a saviour, opening up, desperate to feel it within him.

‘Thank you…Christ…thank you baby…I’m so hard…I can’t…oh shit.’

‘Lie down Baby, open your legs.  You can pull that dick flat out straight so it doesn’t hurt, nothing else.’  Timmy softly spoke this instruction.

He started with long slow strokes, resting on the crest of Armie’s ass, gradually increasing as his dick hardened fully.  Armie was quivering below him, holding off until he was told he could come, Timmy knew he wasn’t far off.

‘You can let go baby, come for me.’

Timmy waited until he felt the inevitable beat of blood begin deep in Armie’s body, waited until it rose up, and Armie grasped him, then falling still as the orgasm claimed him, flesh upon flesh they came together.  Armie’s body pulling everything out of him.

‘Did you like that baby?’

Armie was blissed out.  Eyes closed, voice soft.

‘Yes, I’d like to do that again at home…there are more things to play with…’

‘You dirty fucker.’


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories of a first love.
> 
> The is fiction.
> 
> Consensual underage sex takes place.

Friday came round quickly.  Jacob and Armie had only seen each other once during the week, both making sure that they were on top of school work and chores, both conscious that if there was any bad behaviour their weekend would be in jeopardy.

Armie was in high anxiety.

‘What food is Gloria preparing?  Jacob doesn’t like meat.  He only eats fish and vegetarian dishes.  Tell Gloria to make her Mexican dish the one with refried beans and sweetcorn salad.  I’ll eat anything.’

‘Tell her yourself.  If she asks why it is so important, you’ll need to think of something.  I am not going to lie for you, she already knows Jacob is coming and she knows you are dating.’

‘What are you leaving for us to drink?’

‘I’ve left six beers in the fridge, if you want to get drunk drink them all on Friday, I don’t recommend it, if you want to do what I think you will be doing.’

‘Baba, shut up…you’re embarrassing…’

‘Don’t get fresh…there are sugar free cokes, juice and that green tea he likes.  You’ll have to buy anything else, and not too much juice, it is full of sugar, it’s not good for you…I might lock it up with the alcohol…’

Doria was taking no chances, anything expensive and all hard alcohol and wine was being locked up.  She had discussed with Paige what Jacob could have, and prepared accordingly

Jacob was nearly seventeen, he stood 5’10” just under Armie’s height and he was full grown, but still prone to infrequent bouts of volatility, he was a reasoning young man, not afraid to show his softer side and very much in love with Armie. He only wanted the best for him, he waited for him to be ready and he spoke to him about what he wanted and expected. By comparison, Armie, when in lust, was hot headed, mouthy, equally in love and rushing to be grown up.  Jacob could talk to him, talk him into reasonableness, they agreed on fundamental things had points of difference which they resolved without outside help, they spoke constantly, by text or on the phone. Jacob for instance could wait for Armie to be sixteen to have full sex, there was lots of things they could do without having to do the act. Armie didn’t see the point, he felt it was an expression of love, despite what he had told Doria.  For him the act was completion.

Jacob loved Armie’s artistic temperament which expressed itself in moments of intense thinking, talking and behaviour, periods of deep concentration where he did not care who was around him; he could ignore outside influence when his mind was set on something he desired – no one could get in his way, he just ploughed on resolute until he had achieved what he had set out to do. There were days when he would shut himself away from everyone and other days when he could not keep still, wanting to be in company or occupied by schoolwork or work for his afterschool activities such as Choir and Art or best of all, being with Jacob.  Above all he was happy.

Jacob meanwhile worked steadily, he was even tempered, he also knew what he wanted to achieve and he had good grades to keep up as he had to choose a college, on this his parents were clear, poor grades meant no Armie, he had been grounded on more than one occasion because of Armie. Jacob’s college choice was a cause of anxiety for Armie.  He knew that in just over a year’s time he was going to lose him to the company of other men and other distractions.  Jacob told him not to worry, he was going to be loyal and anyway he may not even be leaving home.

‘Where are all the towels?  I need them.  Baba, where are they?’

‘Where they normally are Armie, in the cupboard on the hall.  Why so concerned…oh…use tissues or get some toilet wipes…I know you have plenty of those already…’

Armie grew pink.

It was Thursday afternoon, he’d just spoken with Jacob and agreed that he would come round at six, they would have an early dinner and watch a film.

‘No going off anywhere, you are not to leave this house. Understand?’

‘Yes Baba.  I know.  Jacob is coming here and we are going to watch videos, I got some from Blockbuster.’

‘Let me see what you have…Grease…Back to the Future…Star Wars…The Shining…Nope, give that one to me…Matrix…Pulp Fiction…hmmm…OK, you can have that one…Romeo and Juliet…Heat…hmm…Robert De Niro  OK.  The Exorcist…definitely no.  Any more…’

‘No…’

‘Liar…how many films have you got?’ 

Her sixth sense was telling her he had some other film which he was not going to give up.  She decided not to fight him on it.  He looked pleased with himself, smug that he got away with at least one thing.

‘Armie, seriously, whatever you do tomorrow please be safe – use the condoms and take time to get yourself ready for the sex.’

‘Baba please…’

‘Don’t “Baba please” me, I want you to enjoy…’

‘Baba!’

‘OK, OK…’

 

Jacob arrived promptly at six the following day.  Armie was basically palpating, he thought his heart was going to jump out of his mouth, not certain whether to get it over and done with or to wait.  Jacob was calm, on coming through the door he took Armie’s hand and kissed him hello.

‘I wouldn’t mind a cup of tea Armie, let’s go get one and then we can decide what we are going to do this evening.  Have you got any schoolwork?’

‘No. Jacob, I’ve done everything, all my work I mean…we can do what we want…’

‘Good.  Let’s have the tea then we can play X-Box.’

At 7.30pm about an hour after he had arrived, Jacob said softly. ‘Come here Armie’

Armie thought that Jacob was getting him ready, prepared himself for kissing and such like.  Jacob, took his hand and said:

‘We don’t have to fuck Armie, you might not even like it.  Not everybody likes or has anal sex.’

Jacob sounded like an old man to Armie, what was he talking about?  Whenever he had an orgasm, his ass throbbed, it was the centre of his fucking universe.  Why would it not be just what he wanted, then he realised he would be the one fucking – did Jacob like to be fucked?  He realised he had never actually asked, only made assumptions from conversations they had had.

‘Jacob, shall I go on top? I know you said you wanted me to but I just want to check.’

Jacob nodded silently.

‘Have you…you know…done it before?’

‘Once. I topped once’

‘Did you like it?’

‘No.’

‘You might like to with me…?’

‘Let’s see Armie…’

‘OK Jacob, shall we go upstairs?’

‘No.  We haven’t eaten.’

‘I think we better…you know…before we eat…we can eat afterwards…you have to prepare…you know…you can use the bathroom, I can wait.’

At this point Jacob lost all sense of seniority and became naturally submissive because Armie started instructing him.

‘Go up Jacob, I’ll come in a minute.’

Armie sat there, and thought.

What the fuck…

Thoughts began to go through his head

…Did he love Jacob really?  …Was he just wanting to fuck him?… Using him to get the sex thing over and done with? He had been so certain before, he’d told Baba he loved Jacob so much, he’d said the sex was a final confirmation…He did love Jacob but he had to be honest, he went to bed nearly every night and masturbated to thoughts of being inside Jacob…would it matter if it was someone else…?  Sometimes he just wanted mechanical sex…nothing to do with emotion, just pure physical longing. He felt himself split into two people, now he could see that there was a version of himself who felt like Jacob was his twin, the one who understood him the most and accepted him just as he was.  And expressed this in the way he cared for him. The one who no matter what he did never told him off, laughed at his stupid antics, liked the same things he did.  Who else liked Grease as much as he did?  Who else could just listen to him when he was ranting and angry at the world? Would sit enraptured when he was practising his choral work?  Put him to sleep just by talking to him late at night?  Knew how to use his hands to soothe him, rub his back or his arms until he calmed down?  Would take him in their arms and calm him just by holding him? He realised that he did not allow anyone else to hold him like Jacob did.  Even Baba could barely get a hug, and no other woman or girl could come near him now. That meant something.

He couldn’t help himself.  His dick was dictating to him now, it had already risen.  The two selves came together, it was part of a whole there was the person who loved and the person who needed to express that physically, they couldn’t be separated.  He heard Jacob softly call.  ‘I’m ready.’ Rose from his seat and went upstairs.

Jacob told him not to jump on him.  ‘Kiss me first Armie.’ He guided him.  Made him take his time. Showed him with love just what he needed to do, how to prepare him.  The first time Armie only lasted a few strokes, he had been hard for over half an hour, as soon as he entered Jacob he wanted to come.  He stopped moving.

‘Wait a minute Jacob…’

Pressed fully in and waited. They were face to face, Armie couldn’t look at him. In fact his face was screwed up with the effort of keeping himself together.  Jacob laughed silently, and starting rubbing his back, he knew how to calm him down.  Armie stilled.

‘It’s OK, Armie, we don’t have to go any further if you don’t want to…’

‘Are you fucking mad! I want to come…I’m just holding on…leave me alone…shit…’

Jacob brought a leg round his waist.

‘…fucking hell…that feels fucking amazing…oh fuck…’

The new position sucked him deeper. He started moving again, withdrawing half a length, it was too much, he rolled his hips several times, yeah that felt good…his dick was really hard…now…shit…shit…shit…he was coming. He got up on his elbows, pressed inside as far as he could and released everything inside Jacob.  No condom.

‘Sorry, that was shit…did you enjoy it…it felt…wow…Christ…’

Now he knew what his father was talking about.  And he wanted to do it again.

Jacob stroked himself to orgasm.  Armie watched and refreshed, started stroking himself slowly, he was fifteen, he was ready to go again ten minutes later.

‘Are you sore baby….’  The ‘baby’ was new.

‘No.  Do you want to try again?’

‘Yes.’

This time Armie lasted ten minutes and he had the presence of mind to roll Jacob over onto his stomach and came inside Jacob, again without the condom, his chest to Jacob’s back.

He rolled off Jacob, very pleased with himself.  He’d fucked him twice and he was going to fuck him again later.

He decided not to be rude and pulled Jacob into his arms, spooned him, kissed his neck, wrapped an arm around his waist, he was very sleepy...he’d just close his eyes for a moment.

 

They got up at ten.  Doria was seated at a guesthouse window, she saw the lights go on downstairs in the main house.  Oh, well her baby boy was now a man.

 

The nights and days passed quickly, most of it was spent in bed, when they were not having sex they were talking and eating or sleeping. They didn’t watch any of the films and they didn’t go back to the X-Box.

‘I’m gonna call you Tom, baby.  Cos’ your my twin, when we fuck you are my mine, my Tom.’

 

Armie didn’t talk to Doria about the weekend, it was his business and something to share only with Jacob.  Paige also wanted to have ‘the conversation’ her son.

‘You can tell me to mind my own business Jacob.  I just want to make sure that everything is OK…’

‘It was fine Mom.  Armie is grown, he knows what he wants.  We didn’t do much, just you know…hung out...’

‘Did you enjoy it?’

‘LOL that is my business, if I have anything I want to tell I will…He didn’t hurt me…I didn’t hurt him and I will be spending more time with him.  I want to spend the night with him sometimes…I’m not really asking…’

But his smile told her everything she needed to know.

 

Armie was the same, this was one of the things they had discussed.

‘Baba…’

‘What?’

‘Jacob is gonna spend the night here on Tuesday.’

‘Has he asked his mother and father?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Well you better find out and get them to call me. Who’s going to take Micah to school?’

‘He doesn’t take Micah to school anymore, his Mom has been taking him.  He’ll come with me.’

‘Get them to call me.’

 

‘Did you get anything out of Armie?’

‘No.  I won’t ask him either.  When he needs to or is ready he’ll talk to me.  He’s grown.’

‘Couldn’t get anything out of Jacob either, little fuckers.’

Doria laughed.

‘They’re grown Paige, leave them.  Do you mind if Jacob stays over?’

‘Can’t mind really…I’ll warn him school comes first, no slacking…I don’t think they use condoms…’

‘I know…I have to wash the sheets…

One thing I am going to tell them is if they are grown enough to do their business in my home, they are grown enough to do their own laundry from now on.’

‘Have you told his father?’

‘No, I can’t.  He won’t approve.’

‘Does he know about Jacob?’

‘Not really…’

‘What do you mean not really?’

‘He knows that Armie is friendly with Jacob because I told him about your family, I can’t tell him everything.’

‘OK…’

 

Over the next year, the boys established themselves as a de facto couple.  At school, they would sit together at break and it was accepted that Jacob would be present at any concert or art exhibition where Armie’s work was present.

The first time someone said something homophobic, Armie dragged the boy round the back of the school into the grounds and knocked him down, blacking his eye and breaking his nose.  Nobody snitched. Nobody said anything after that and they left Jacob alone, it was a given don’t mess with either of them.  There were other same sex couples in the school but they were less open, the school was liberal and offered counselling and relationship advice to the teenagers.  They made condoms available to seniors and accepted that as older teenagers it was very likely that students were likely to be doing more than experimenting.  The school had a low tolerance of discrimination and violence, and went out of their way to run classes on the acceptance of difference and anger management, they were mandatory.

Jacob and Armie did not flaunt their relationship but neither did they hide.  They saw no need to. Jacob had softened, though elder figuratively he walked two steps behind Armie and looked up to him physically and emotionally, literally heart eyes anytime he was near him. They were a traditional couple.  Armie protected and dominated Jacob, and Jacob looked up to and after Armie. And Armie was possessive, when another senior tried to talk with Jacob and persuade him out on a date, Armie sidled up and put his arm around Jacob’s waist and told the other boy to fuck off.

The parents of the boy whose nose had been broken, would not let it go, and eventually they got somewhere near the truth.  They found out what had happened and although they did not approve of what their son had done, they did not think it right that Armie had hit their son.  They went to school and complained.  Armie was wild, Jacob had to calm him.  He was going to black the other eye, he thought if he was going to get into trouble, it had better be worth it.  By now he was 6’ and nearly sixteen.  Jacob would be leaving high school in a few months, he told him it wasn’t worth it.  The school contacted Armand because Doria wasn’t his formal guardian.  He came to the school with her.  He still didn’t really know what was going on.  Doria told him about Armie and Jacob on the way in the car.

‘What the fuck has been going on?  Why didn’t you tell me? You’re only telling me now?  When did they start?’  There was a great deal of other shouting between them before they arrived at the school.

When they arrived Armie and Jacob were standing outside the doors into the school, Armand dragged Armie off, he did not acknowledge Jacob.  That was the start to the rift.

‘What the fuck do you think you are playing at?’

Armie’s face was set. He did not speak.

‘OK, so you are saying nothing, you better have something to say when we get inside that room.’

‘Nobody including you is going to tell me what to do. When you started fucking other women you lost the right to tell me what is right. You’re a hypocrite, you go off and fuck women and…’

His father struck him. A mark blazed on Armie’s face.

Armie gripped his fists, he wanted to hit his father, managed to control himself and walked off.  Doria went after him, Jacob stopped her.

‘Let me go’.

Everything was a mess.

‘Armie, Armie you have to go into that meeting in the right frame of mind.  Let’s go for a walk, you still have half an hour.’

‘How dare he, how dare he behave like that! He didn’t even have the manners to say hello to you, he is fucking rude.’

‘Armie, if you talk to him like that you are no better…come on…breathe…’

Jacob placed a hand on his chest, Armie’s chest fell, his breathing became easier, his Jacob, always able to make him feel right.  He looked into his face, for the first time ever in Jacob’s company he was frightened.  He saw right there what was going to happen.

The head of year came into the hall where Armie and Jacob were standing.

‘Come on Armie, come and talk to me.  I’m here as your advocate.’

‘Only if Jacob is with me.’

‘That is a given, come on.’

They went into an office and spoke for fifteen minutes. Armie agreed to tell the truth and to be straightforward.  Patricia, the head of year, was honest with him.

‘You are likely to be suspended.  They are not seeking financial compensation, they want an apology from you and for the school to make clear that violence in these circumstances is not acceptable.  They know that their son is likely to be suspended too.  Your father is there to support you and to mitigate on your behalf.  Your grandmother cannot be in the room.’

Now Armie was scared, no one in the room was going to be on his side.

‘Why can’t I have Ba..Doria? I live with her.  I don’t live with him.  There’s reason why, please...’

‘Armie, you don’t have any formal arrangement with your Grandmother, as far as the school is concerned we have to deal with your legal guardian, and your father is still your legal guardian.’

Armie’s foresight had been right. He looked over at Jacob, tried to take in everything.  The bridge of his nose, the little mark on his throat, soft brown eyes…so soft like his nature, wavy hair cut short in layers, curls still turning in on themselves, Jacob had had it done in the last week.  At first he hadn’t liked it and then he did.  Still his Jacob. The teacher left the room, left them together, neither spoke, fearful of the consequences. Armie knelt before Jacob and took Jacob’s hands in his, ‘Never forget I loved you first and best baby.’

Jacob looked puzzled, and stroked his cheek. 

‘I love you too baby.’

They both stood, hugged, a soft kiss, held hands and walked out of the room together.  His father’s jaw clenched on seeing them.  Doria was behind, she looked worried.

The school suspended him and the other boy for three months, that took him past the date Jacob was graduating high school.  A sick feeling was creeping across his stomach.

 

‘You are coming back with me.’

‘I’m not.’

‘You are Armie, legally I can make you come back.  We can do it this way or I can go to court.  What do you want it to be?’

He’d left Jacob in the hall.  That was the last time he saw him.

 

His father took him back to Doria’s house and made him pack a bag. Armie was driven back home and given tutoring to cover the rest of the school year. His other things followed.  Doria packed them up and send them to him.  The following school year he was enrolled at The Stony Brook School in New York, a Christian boarding school with good arts programmes and the promise to deliver a rounded individual capable of going into any field of work. For six months he was muted, speaking but silent where there was company, kept himself to himself, didn’t participate in the social life of the school and kept to his room.  His father paid for him to have one of the few single rooms, he was lucky someone agreed to give up his room and share a twin room for the newcomer.

He would retire there with a large library of songs he had downloaded onto his iPod, and many books. He wrote down what he felt, sometimes poetry sometimes prose, got himself a social media account where he could put some of it online, got a following under the name of ‘Trofim’. He did as he was told, got on with his work, joined the choir he now sang baritone, and majored in Arts (Art History & Studio Art), English, Political Theory, taking Maths and Economics as quasi-science.  He added a STEM subject, Engineering and Design, if he did decide to go into either the Foundation or the business itself he needed some manufacturing based science subject. His father did not try to force him into any particular subject, it was punishment enough to take him out of California and away from that boy. Armand thought he was putting right all the wrongs he had done in Armie’s life and was now setting him up right for the rest of his life.  All he taught him was how to be insubordinate in a very polite way.  Armie made it his business to settle and dig in once he realised he had no choice.  He couldn’t support himself and he wasn’t going to run away, that was stupid, he was going to school, complete college, then his father could fuck off.

He put Jacob to one side but he felt him constantly, like a presence just over his shoulder – he hadn’t forgotten him and he did not try.  No point in moping.  He held Jacob like a jewel in his heart, he knew what he meant to him, all he had of him was the fine gold bracelet Jacob had given him and photos on his phone.  He thought he might have other loves, but not now.  At the moment he had no need of anyone else and no-one could come near him.  He’d manage on his own.

Jacob tried to contact him. Armie blocked him.  They couldn’t see each other, the authorities had been told and the school knew why he had been sent there.  If he slept with Jacob now, Jacob could be arrested.  He was certain his father would have no compunction in advising anyone who needed to know. Jacob was eighteen, of age, Armie was still a minor, Jacob could be arrested.

He’d manage on his own.

 

A year later Doria died in her sleep.  One of those things, it was peaceful.  Some said after Armie had gone, she had become solitary.  She went about her business…but all meaningful purpose had disappeared from her life.  She was heartbroken, Armie was a part of her very soul.  She had missed him dreadfully. 

 

Armie went to the funeral. When Jacob asked if he could come, he told Paige to tell him to stay away.  Again he was muted.  He went with his father and mother, they put up a good front.  Armand’s forthcoming second wife was already pregnant with his sister Vanessa, the divorce was being worked through, not yet announced.

Armie was polite and respectful.  Everyone noticed that he was very respectful and not the same boy they knew from a year ago, he had been polite before, however there was something else about him, he was reserved, held himself off from everyone but spoke with all.  He behaved appropriately at the service, then retreated to his old bedroom when the wake started in earnest claiming tiredness. He looked around the room, some things were still in the place he’d left them, not quite a mausoleum still recognisably his room with his things, school books…a pair of discarded sneakers he’d meant to throw out. He lay down on his old bed, the bed he had shared with Tom and the memories started…together with tears which ran slowly down his face, only then did he grieve for everything he had lost.

When he got into his father’s car the following morning, the mask was firmly back on.

He was on his own.


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rounding off what happened.
> 
> This is fiction.

Armie became a good scholar, he applied himself and went to Harvard, he had no outside interests and he didn’t date. Initially he majored in English and Art History, minored in Engineering and Design with a special interest in engineering for the Arts and Creative Industries.  By the end of the first year he had changed his major to Engineering with his specialism. He had achieved an A- in his degree, and his specialism was so highly valued he’d had a couple of companies ask if he wanted to come and work for them in his final year; the combination of his name and evident skill an easy draw.  Instead he chose to take a year out before working and applied for and was successful in obtaining a Churchill Scholarship. The Scholarship was provided by the Winston Churchill Foundation, students from the US studied a science at Churchill College at Cambridge University at postgraduate level.

He walked into the welcome session at Cambridge on a Tuesday morning, and the first person he saw was Jacob, his Jacob. His Jacob who was sitting with his arm across the back of a chair of the girl sitting next to him. He was on the desk where students were signing attendance sheets and being handed out information, badges and bags of goodies. Armie nearly walked out, his legs unsteady beneath him. Jacob looked up a perfect O on his mouth. That mouth…the memories tumbled back unbidden. Armie wanted to cry. Everything just landed back on him, all the feelings…the last time he saw him…Doria…the pain he had suffered just to be able to live.

Jacob came round the desk and kissed him on his cheek.  Took his arm, and walked him out of the hall.

‘I’ve been waiting for you.  I knew I would see you again.  You don’t have to attend this, come with me.’

Armie was stunned into silence.  Couldn’t speak until Jacob had taken him into another building and another room and pressed him into the wall and kissed him again, this time on the mouth, a still familiar feeling.

‘You thought you would never see me again didn’t you?’

Armie still couldn’t speak.

‘I’ve been tracking you.  I followed what you were doing, I knew where you were. Did you forget I knew? Did you think I would let you go?

What’s the matter?  Did you really think I was going to let you go from me?  I loved you then Armie, I still love you, did you ever doubt?’

Armie sat on a chair and cried, cried properly for the first time in three years. His Jacob.

 

‘What happened to him?’

‘Nothing. Like most revived romances it failed, we tried to re-kindle what we had, there was too much time and trouble between us.  I kind of resented him for not trying to come to me, he’d tracked me, knew where I was but waited until I came to England?  That’s fuckery, he could have come for me at eighteen, after High School.  If he had come then, I would still have gone to college…we could have been together, two years is not long, we might have salvaged things, I could have gone where he went.  I’d blocked him but he was stalking me, if he had come for me at eighteen I would have gone with him.

I would have used the money Doria left me, I wasn’t poor.  Everything was held in trust until I reached 23.  I didn’t need my father’s money, I still don’t.  I’m a multi-millionaire, I have properties.  I have skills, I can work in Engineering or in the Foundation. I don’t need my father.

I’d had love and survived.  I spent years longing for him, only it wasn’t him it was a memory, something precious but a memory. The memory couldn’t match reality…I told myself…I didn’t need someone around permanently…I had no-one I wanted to stay with…no one I could trust…until you came along…All the rest of it was just passing time…

I tried to trust him…I tried…I felt like he had let me down…he should have come for me…he could have saved me…that is what I felt…he could have saved me and he didn’t…

After we split, I went around fucking anybody, I made up for lost time and when I came back to America, I carried on…I just got into a bad habit …’

Nothing was resolved.  Armie had still not really come to terms with what had happened to him. The actions of his father lay right in front of him and he couldn’t pick them up and bury them.  His eyes were glassy, as he spoke doubt and fear came back, visible in the depth of his blue blue eyes.


End file.
